The Wheat Pool
Your Questions Answered
Dear Robb:
If you’re so smart, solve this riddle:
No legs have i to dance
No lungs have i to breathe
No life have i to live or die
and yet i do all three.
what am i?
Thanks!
Kevin M.
Herning, Denmark
Dear Kevin,
Thanks for writing!! I’ll tell you what you are. You’re a retard. And you should probably know that riddles are for grade 4 students who have finished all of their work early and need to kill time until recess. But since I’m a good guy, I’m going to say that the answer is probably “fire”. Good Luck with your Rubix cube!
Robb
Dear Robb,
How many quilts can one person have??
Thanks!
Joe B.
Edmonton, AB.
Eeeesh. Are these the kinds of quesitons I’m going to have to answer?? Well Joe, I think I know you well enough to assume that you don’t own ANY quilts. I’m guessing you sleep under a pile of dirty socks and old tank tops. Am I correct?? The corollary would then indicate that a person does not NEED quilts, but having one will most definately prevent you from becoming the craziest open stage host in the city. Never change Joe!
Robb
Dear Robb:
Is a new theory of light and matter needed to explain what happens at very high energies and temperatures?
Max D.
Sherwood Park, AB
Dear Max,
Great question!! As you may or may not know, along with self-improvement, physics has long been a passion of mine.
Unfortunately, our universe presents us with places and objects (such as neutron stars and the sources of gamma ray bursts) where the energies are far more extreme than anything we can reproduce here on Earth (in labs) in order to test these basic theories of which you speak.
Hopefully, exciting new technologies, such as the Gamma Ray Large Area Telescope (GLAST) will open this high-energy world to exploration by observing high-energy gamma rays from many different astrophysical sources. GLAST will have an imaging gamma-ray telescope vastly more capable than previous instruments, as well as a secondary instrument to augment the study of gamma-ray bursts. These instruments will allow us to study light and matter at said high energy and temperature environments. My hope Max, is that our current theories of light and matter will be strongly confirmed by GLAST‘s findings in outer space.
With GLAST, astronomers will have a superior tool to study how black holes (notorious for pulling matter in) can accelerate jets of gas outward at fantastic speeds. Physicists will be able to study subatomic particles at energies far greater than those seen in laboratory-tested particle accelerators here on earth.
So in closing Max, I don’t believe that new theories will need to be created. Unless the GLAST discoveries show us overwhelming evidence that our current laws of light and matter in high temperature and energy environments are incongruent with GLAST‘s findings, I believe we can rely on many of Max Planck’s original theories!
Keep your eyes to the skies! And don’t forget Max, always shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.
Robb
Dear Robb
What do you think of the Oilers signing Joffrey Lupul to a 3yr deal for 6.935 million US? Also, does this font size make my ass look fat??
Thanks!
Brock S.
Edmonton, AB
Dear Brock,
I think Joffrey Lupul is a young player with tons of up-side. And by up-side, I mean he’s playing with his head way up inside his own ass right now. He’s gotta go.
And no, that font size doesn’t make your ass look fat. But it makes your thighs look kinda “beefy”.
Keep a tight one!
Robb
Dear Robb
I’ve been a big fan for a while, even though I’ve never heard any of your music. No offence, but how is it that you are the smartest guy in the band?? Oh ya, and why can’t I get your mp3’s to work on your website??
Thanks!
Brett A.
Regina, Sask.
Dear Brett,
You’ve brought up some very valid questions. They both have simple answers. I am the smartest man in the band due to my devastatingly sharp wit and intellect. There is no measure for either. Ask a scientist. As for the broken mp3 links, I can only estimate the problem – here it is:
The gentleman who maintains this website, and for the sake of anonymity lets call him “Glen E”, no wait, too obvious. Let’s call him “G. Erickson” instead. “G. Erickson” (remember, that’s not his real name) must have made a foolish and careless error some where when building this page. That would probably also explain why you’ve never heard our music. I suggest you get into contact with “G. Erickson” and let him know that his careless errors are costing The Wheat Pool listenership. (Which is my favorite of all of the ships).
Keep on Truckin’ Brett!
Robb
Dear Robb,
1) Is this for Real?
2) Do you guys like stuff?
3) The Wheat Pool is known for its socially conscious, yet clever lyrics. Moreover, I’m concerned about Global Warming. What the heck can your average, Albertan indie rock band member do to make a difference?
4) Charles Smart….the best donair in Edmonton?
Thanks!
Ryan A.
Edmonton, AB
Dear Ryan,
Thanks for your 4 part question! That’s not selfish at all. You seem like the kind of guy who might put his own songs on an annual “Best Of” CD that you pass out to friends and family. But to answer your questions:
1) Yes, this is most definately for real. I wouldn’t be putting off watching old episodes of M*A*S*H* if it wasn’t. Radar is so timid. And that Pierce, he’s always horny.
2) We definately love stuff. And as you may or may not know, aside from self improvement, stuff has long been a passion of mine. I must say though, that if anyone loves stuff, it is my good friend Alex M. He has written songs about stuff. No lie. They’re really, really great songs too. I was lucky enough to have been there when one was written. We were on a boat that was also a house. Ask him to sing it to you.
3) What can you do about Global Warming? That’s very astute of you Ryan A. You are of course, referring to the deadly hole in our ozone layer, creating dangerously high carbon dioxide levels. Well, as we all know, the effects of Global Warming are exponentially multiplied by shitty music. It’s a fact, check out that Al Gore movie. Don’t talk to me about emissions, shitty music is the cause. It not only raises the earth’s atmospheric temperature, but it also raises my blood pressure. The solution, then, is to commit your life to NOT making shitty music, whilst also erradicating any shitty music you may encounter: buskers, ska bands, and hand-drummers are some immediate culprits. Upon encountering shitty music, the onus is immediately upon you to deliver an accurately placed scissor-kick to the thoat of the shitty musician. Be ware though, that the effects of the scissor-kick are temporary at best. The most effective long-term solution is to destroy the guitar/hand drum/weird chinese violin made out of tooth floss and broken hockey sticks, that the shitty musician may be “playing”. Only then can we get back to enjoying our below average Canadian weather that has been creeping into dangerously tolerable temperatures over the last 10 years.
4) Charles Smart Donair? I’ve never been. I can say for sure that the worst donairs are in that crappy little place right beside what used to be Rebar, on Whyte Ave. I’m pretty sure they put icing sugar in their donair sauce. Awful. I suggest we go for Charles Smart some day soon. Call me.
Thanks Ryan!
Robb
